The dreams have started – the anxiety dreams. They’re centered around the Brighton Marathon but as yet they don’t concern the running part. Probably because the running part has been planned and prepared for four days a week for the past 11 weeks. I don’t think I can do more preparation on the running front than I am at this stage. No, the anxiety dreams centre around not arriving on time, not having the right kit or having forgotten something.

So I’ve started to think about what I need to take with me on the day and, as is my affliction – compulsively make lists. Nothing can be done in my household without me making a list and it has even been known for me to draw a diagram of every item of clothing I plan to take on a holiday before I pack it. It’s a good way to make sure you’re not taking too much or too little and to ensure what you do take all works together in the way described by magazines with a much more coherent understanding of the subject than me as a ‘capsule wardrobe’.

And so to the explanation for the picture above. This is the kit that I took with me for my half-marathon last year. I took this picture shortly before packing it – for future blogging purposes of course and not at all so that instead of obsessively unpacking and repacking my bag to check I’d got everything I could just check my camera.

Looking back at this picture, the only things I really need are my running vest, shorts, shoes, bra (which isn’t on this picture but I did remember to take) and socks. Everything else is just an added extra, even (dare I say) my Garmin. My number and chip weren’t on this picture because they were already safely at my parent’s house where I was staying before the race, but obviously they’ll be on the packing list for Brighton.

As with all fears or anxiety, my dreams that I will turn up without shoes stems from an event in my past. The first 10K that I did I forgot to take my chip with me to be timed. I got hung up on this at the start and, although, looking back, it wasn’t worth a second thought, at the time it felt like a big deal. My nervs about completing the race were transferred onto the item I’d forgotten.

Last week, as I was doing the second of my 16-mile runs I stopped my garmin while I waited at a set of traffic lights at around mile 11. I got about half a mile further down the road and looked down at my garmin only to see that I had forgotten to press ‘start’ again (I don’t use auto-pause unfortunately). For the remaining few miles of my run I obsessed about how far I had run while my watch was off. As it was a new route and I hadn’t plotted all 16 miles before I set off, I was relying on my garmin to get all of the 16 miles in. This caused me a huge amount of anxiety when, really it shouldn’t have. My estimate that it was about half a mile should have been enough (it was pretty accurate too as I later calculated), but when you’ve run that far and your body and mind are tired, little things can somehow become huge.

Needless to say I didn’t have a pleasant run for the remaining miles but a lesson has been learnt. Not only to remember to press ‘start’ but to relax. In the grand scheme of things, a forgotten piece of kit or a missed half mile rarely matters. But in worrying about the small things in a big way it can actually start to affaect your performance and, more importantly, your enjoyment of a race.