Bum on seat, cup of tea in hand an off we went for week four. Angie promised us in the opening few minutes that ‘this is where the game begins’. Whose game – competition between the contestants, rivalry between Richard and Angie or manipulative tricks of the production crew – she was referring to we were yet to find out. But it turns out it was all three.

What’s your favourite memory from school? Is it lining up in PE hoping that you weren’t the last one to be picked for the netball/football/hockey team? Well, the lucky contestants go to relive that sense of dread and humiliation as they lined up and Angie and Richard decided who they wanted on their teams. It was OK though because instead of getting left until last meaning either you’re the most unpopular or least good at a given activity – by getting left until last here, Ang and Dick were saying ‘we think you’re the least likely to put some effort in and lose weight’. See – it was motivational.
So the black team: Claire (ex yellow), Paddy (Irish ex green), Rob (grey team of one), Zandela (one of the pink twins – still confused over which is which) were led by Angie. They were at Twickenham going head-to-head on a ludicrous task of running up and down the stadium steps against the blue team: Karen and Mark (the Jordie blue team), Ayanda (the other twin – I think) and Wil (the one in the green team that wasn’t Irish – Go Wil!). Having fallen down stairs at Wembley myself, I watched this from behind a cushion. There was an important prize at stake. The losing team would go without their trainer for a day. Now surprisingly Angie’s team ‘lost’ this challenge.

There was some more cake eating at the contestants were prodded with sticks and then we went to the weigh-in. The team that had, as a group, lost the least amount of weight had to choose someone to go home. Nobody had lost that much weight this week – you might even have called the 3lb or 4lb that they were losing as a ridiculously ‘healthy rate’ of weight-loss. It was close, but this week Angie’s black team were for the chopping block so we all thought Zandela – who had been saying every five minutes how she wanted to go home and see her son, would be off. But no. As Angie promised us, this is where the game begins. So Zandela, Paddy and Rob all voted to kick off Claire – who had lost 6lb, the most of anyone in the team by a long way. Not Claire! I was gutted – I never liked Paddy or Rob and now Zandela has given me reason to want to kick her off too. Ooh it’s getting good!

Next week the challenge involved running up the stairs of a really high building, and I’ll be taking bets for who will be in need of an oxygen tank first. Catch-up: Week 1, Week 2, Week 3, Week 5