It’s every man and woman for themselves in the final week, and this week we’re in Cyprus. Only the three biggest losers will go through from the end of this programme. It’s tense – will it be Wil? Can Karen do it? Maybe Paddy will have a Paddy? I’m all out of puns, let’s get to it.

Zandela has to learn how to swim so they can all compete in a triathlon. A triathlon! That’s swimming, cycling and running. Blimey. Before we get to that and the weigh-in, Richard has a backpack for them all to put on. Well they are on holiday – they should at least dress like Terry tourists. The rucksack are filled of rocks that weigh the same as the weight they’ve lost on the Biggest Loser. This was pretty impressive.

On to the triathlon. Wisely the swimming has been substituted for kayaking. This is followed by a hilly 4km bike ride and a 1km beach run. Karen came last in the kayaking – that’s last behind Zandela who was having a panic attack about being within 10m of the sea. Paddy won this stage. On the cycling Mark got a puncture, then went the wrong way, but he still beat Karen who came last. Stage two to Wil.

The 1km beach run was next. Here Karen came into her own and took third place running all the way. Respect to Karen – three years ago I couldn’t have done that and I was less than half her size. Wil won again and won the whole triathlon. Go Wil.

At the final weigh in it came down to who had the biggest percentage weight loss since day one to decide who would make the final. Wil lost 4st 4lb, Mark lost 3st 13lb, Karen lost 3st 2lb, Paddy lost 2st 11lb and Zandela lost 2st 9lb. But as a percentage Wil, Zandela and Karen were the biggest losers and made it to the final. We’ll see next week who will take the crown.

Angie appeared at the end of the show with an appology akin to an MP who had been caught with a prostitute. Time in the sin bin served, she’ll be back next week for the finale. And so will all the ex contestants – remember Big G? Maybe he’ll have lost more weight than even Wil. I for one can’t wait.