Guest post by K, like in caKe; triathlon aficionado and writer of the fabulously illustrated blog, ‘Cake of Good Hope‘.

Not content with being Lazy Girl Running, our girl tells me she’s thinking of adding some swimming and cycling to the mix this year. She’s asked me for an ‘Idiot’s Guide to Triathlon’ to help her on her way; now I’m no expert, just a runner that swims and cycles a bit and, every so often, strings them together so please consider this more a ‘Runner’s Guide to Triathlon’, written by an idiot…


Safety first  

Your legs may not believe this but the run is the “easy” bit in a triathlon; with minimal risk of drowning or crashing, you just need to keep one foot moving in front of the other. The key is to make it that far safely. Your swimming confidence might well dictate the kind of event you want to start with: confident swimmers will enjoy the turmoil of an open water swim but if you’re more flail than fish then you may wish to start out with a pool swim. If you really can’t swim: learn. It’s definitely a prerequisite for triathlon, not to mention a life skill. And maybe consider starting with triathlon’s drier cousin, a duathlon, until you have.


The naked truth

Triathlon is the only sport I know where they feel the need to actively prohibit nipple exposure (the rules state “the minimum is a one- or two-piece non-transparent swimsuit” and that the upper body and “especially the chest area” should be firmly under wraps) and exhibitionists are given short shrift. Trisuits are a popular choice, and offer slightly more dignity than having to run in a skimpy swimming costume. You don’t need to spend a fortune on one either; Lazy Girl has tipped us off about the wonders of Aldibefore and from time to time they turn their attention to multisport. I picked up my trisuit from there for a tenner about 5 years ago and it’s still going strong, so keep your eyes peeled for offers. My top tip to ladies with more than a “handful” is to wear a comfortable sports bra under your trisuit throughout the race and save yourself a visit from the Nipple Police.


All the gear

Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to spend a fortune on a bike to start out in triathlon. At some of the more beginner-friendly races, you can expect to see a variety of velocipedes. Blenheim Triathlon seems to be a magnet for debutantes and I once overtook a man in a polar bear costume pushing his shopper up the hill there. That said, your bike mustbe safe and road worthy to compete and, ideally, comfortable if you’re going to enjoy yourself. Get along to a local bike shop for advice if you’re uncertain. Bike helmets are also compulsory (and you’ll be grateful for it when a polar bear approaches you at speed during something resembling The Wacky Races).


Quick change

With 3 sports in one morning, you’re going to have to get changed twice during this race. Known as “transition”, this is often called the 4th discipline and triathletes take this astonishingly seriously. When asked if I should put socks on in my first tri, my triathlete friend replied, “K, you may as well take your hair straighteners.” Transition is worth practising though; work out what you’re going to wear and what order you’re going to wear it in. Sounds silly? Think how hard you’d have to work to knock a minute off your 5K pb; then think how long it took to put on your skinny jeans after your last swim and how much time you’d have saved if only you’d given that some more thought beforehand.


Enjoy your first race and let me know how you get on!