It seemed like a good idea at the time – make your own energy bars, include the things you like, cut out the crap you don’t like and save money. Win, win all round. Yes, it might take a bit of time to prepare and a visit to three shops to acquire all the ingredients, but you’re not swimming, cycling or running much right now – you’ve got bags of time.

In my head they’d taste like Cliff Bars, only better because each bite would come with the knowledge that I’d crafted them out of my own tiny kitchen for a fraction of the price. They’d taste of my own sweat and toil – not literally, hopefully, but figuratively. They’d replace my trusty two Snickers bars in my cycling jersey on long bike rides and have magical properties that propelled me up hills faster than a drugged-up Lance Armstrong.

Pretty realistic hopes for someone who only uses their oven for heating up fishfingers and the occasional falafel.

If this sounds like fun to you, here’s how to do it:

1. Get a formula. Yeah, recipes are for people that swim clockwise round their lane even when they’re the only one in the pool. I’m a straight-down-the-middle and pretend it’s you own mind of maverick.
2. Energy bar formula acquired, select your ingredient – go to three different shops to find ‘spelt flour’ even though you’re not quite sure what it is and are 80% certain that it’s a typo. Find said flour and make a note in your phone to use the line ‘it’s spelt flour not flower’ in your blog.
3. Watch tumbleweed pass.
4. Return home with your haul that barely fits into your tiny kitchen and a slightly crumpled recipe. Realise the American recipe refers to ‘cups’ not weight of ingredients. Ponder over which is closer to a ‘cup’ a pint glass or a Martini glass before deciding to ‘swim-down-the-middle-of-the-lane’ and disregard the measures.
5. Empty everything into a blender.
6. Empty everything into some tins.
7. Place tins into the fishfinger heater at an arbitrary number because the American recipe says 360 degrees and the fishfinger heater does not compute with that.
8. Stare into the fishfinger heater door periodically while imagining that you’re on Great British Bake Off with Mel and Sue peering through the kitchen window because your kitchen only fits one person in it.
9. Remove from oven and eat while still they’re still the temperature of the sun. Figure out how much making 14 energy bars has cost you and sob into a tea towel.

Later that evening I went to the corner shop to get some milk. I spied something new on the counter, something exciting. “They’re expensive. American import, but they’re very, very nice” said the man behind the counter.

It was an almond Snickers! “How much?” I asked.

“£1.19”.

My energy bars weren’t looking that extravagant after all.

“I’ll take two.”